Pages

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Soft Hearts in a Hard World



I’ll admit it. I have one of the softest hearts I have ever encountered. Seriously, I don’t even know if it could hold it’s shape outside of my body. It would melt into a pile of glitter putty. I cry daily. DAILY. What I will not admit is that I am in any way embarrassed by it. Because I’m not. I’m happy with my sensitivity. I love feeling the world as deeply as I do. It makes happiness SO happy. But it makes sadness and disappointment so much harder. When I experience something TRULY sad or disheartening, it throws me. I struggle to function normally. I look around wondering how the world is going on with no one noticing. It’s hard, and it takes me longer to recover. But I do recover.

I recover and rebound because I believe so deeply in the power of love and kindness. I believe that there is more good in the world than bad. I believe that people care about each other and will stand up for one another. These beliefs are not just my heart; they are my eyes, my skin, my guts. They are what I am made of. They give me faith and confidence in the power of humans.

However, people can suck, and they test that confidence. They make me feel like no one else cares about these things. In fact, they call me a bleeding heart for caring so much, because in this world, compassion is something you can be teased for. They can be selfish and accusatory. They attack people who are not like them or who pose some sort of threat to their notion of superiority. They choose a whisper of a promise of their own prosperity over standing up for the basic human rights of millions and standing up to bullies. They are bystanders. And then they tell the people who are are not bystanders and bullies to get over it. Call them special snowflakes and crybabies and offer them a participation trophy. They show me that this world can be very hard and harsh. I get angry, I get furious, I get sanctimonious.

I often feel like an outsider, like I don’t belong here. This world is not built for soft hearts; it is built for the hard and the angry. It is built to break and beat the people who seek to connect and to feel. It wants us to fall in line.

Sensitivity and compassion are viewed as signs of weakness, but I'm tough as hell. I work hard, I get things done, and I push through. This is why I am able to choose kindness, to choose softness. I’m tough enough to take in all the hate around me without needing to rebound it back, and I think that makes me way stronger than most people. I can listen, read, absorb, hurt, and try to radiate even more love. It can be so tough sometimes. But my heart is soft enough to know that love is what this world needs, not anger.

I refuse to let this world become cold. I refuse to let people feel marginalized, attacked, and alone.
So I push on, hug on, love on. My heart is bruised, but the thing about soft hearts is that the bounceback can be epic, and it usually involves dancing. You’re welcome. If you have a soft heart, never, ever, ever let the world turn it to stone. Drink some tea (or wine), write, draw, run, and recover when you need to. Then get back up and work to build everyone else to your level of love. After all, we could all use a little more glitter putty in our lives.

No comments:

Post a Comment